Never Say "No"

What annoys the French the most about the Chinese is that the Chinese never say "no".

"Of course we do" you hear the protest immediately, "they are not listening".

"What did you say?"

"Nothing, I didn't respond to their email request".  HAHA, you see. you didn't say "no".

"I did say NO, by not responding." (What else do you want me to do?) "I don't want to be rude."

"Did you know that they were waiting for your response for three months?"

"How could that be? I usually respond within the same day, if I didn't respond for one week, they should have known that it is a 'no-go'" Completely shocked beyond belief.....

"See, that is why now they are more upset because you wasted their time and resources".  Now the Chinese side is at fault for "wasting other's time".

This is a true dialogue between a client and I. You see I do consulting work from time to time (yes, sometimes I do need to work in exchange for monetary compensation) and this is a very common Franco-Chinois (mis) communication scenario.

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Not only the French say "no", they begin their speech/phrases/sentences with "No's" (mai, non....) with no regrets.

"I do agree with you, but how do I get your attention to listen to what I have to say if I don't start off with a strong "NO"."  That is one way of explaining it.

"We never agree at 100%, there is always something to be modified...no argument is perfect". Another way of arguing. "That is why we talk, "dialogue" necessarily entails two interlocutors. ("Di" is a prefix for "two" in Greek).

There are always Chinese who "nod" and  say "yes, yes, yes," for the French these are signs of encouragement, approval, endorsement, praise and, finally, agreement.

"Not at all, I was just being polite".  Indeed, any educated Chinese will react the same way. "Nodding" means nothing more than "I heard you" or simply "I respect your right to speak....."